How Brainspotting gently teaches you how to feel

I first experienced Brainspotting in 2012. I finally realized that I had postpartum anxiety and I needed to do something about it…after all I was like 3 years postpartum. I also knew the anxiety I was feeling was very old and a part of my daily experience.

My therapist, said, “Let’s try this intervention and see what happens.” I was willing to do anything to make my mind stop and be a better, calmer mom for my kids…and I really no longer wanted to feel like I was going crazy.

So there I was staring at the end of the pointer. I honestly remember thinking, “Why in the F am I am looking at the end of this stick??”  I didn’t really buy into it. But, for the first time ever, I allowed myself to sit with how anxiety felt in my body without trying to run from it, shut it down, or make it stop. 

Interestingly, the anxiety started to soften.

Most of us in this culture are in our heads. Meaning we don’t often have any idea of the sensations happening in our bodies unless there is a lot of pain and your body is screaming at you.

But, there are always sensations. Even as I sit here writing this, when I stop to notice myself I can feel a little bit of heaviness in my belly, some movement in my chest, and I just realized I was tensing my shoulders!

Brainspotting gently asks you to be with the sensations of your body with curiosity, without judgement or attempting change the sensation to make it “go away.”  You are continuously guided back to the sensations in your body.

Brainspotting is a bit like yoga in this regard. Mindfully learning to be aware of what is happening in your body moment by moment and just witnessing it. 

You learn to practice embodied immediacy. You learn to be with what you are experiencing in your body and not react to it. It is after just an experience and a normal part of life.

You learn that emotions are not going to kill you even though it can feel they are…or like you going to get stuck in them and feel anxious or depressed for the rest of your life. You learn that all emotions are workable, fluid, and ever changing, even the most difficult ones.

When I first start working with clients, and we start Brainspotting, many times when I ask them what they are noticing I hear, “I’m anxious” or “I just feel sad” or whatever it is their mind interprets what they are experiencing. There is nothing happening in their body…that they can notice.

However, when you have an emotion, it causes a physiological reaction in the body specifically in the cardiovascular, neuroendocrine, skeletomuscular, and autonomic nervous systems. These systems create a sensation.

In fact in a 2013 study, researchers were able to create a map depicting where and how certain emotions are usually experienced. Focusing on these areas is an important part of emotional processing and relieving your discomfort.

I love the scientific piece, but whenever you turn toward yourself in a kind, curious, and gentle manner your nervous system settles. Whenever you can witness your pain without judging it (or yourself) and let yourself be as you are you start to feel calmer.

There is also a present moment component at play. Being in the present moment softens anxiety because it decreases that future oriented “what ifs,” it starts to break old habituated patterns of thinking and being, and it releases old stagnant energy (that keeps you stuck in your conditioned patterns). It does the same for other uncomfortable emotions as well.

Like anything, learning to connect to and feel what is happening in the body is a practice. A skill to be honed. A process not to rush.

Your nervous system heals with a slow titration of intervention, done in a way that feels safe and not overwhelming. So you get to stop or resource yourself (with the help of your therapist) during the process.

 When you learn to do this, rather than exacerbating “negative” emotions, you actually help them to move through you. So you have less discomfort, more ease and calm…while remembering you will be ok…no matter what…even when your emotions feel intense and life feels overwhelming. This is true resilience and nervous system regulation.

Namaste!

Nichole

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