Why what you think matters

You have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.

Roughly 95% of those thoughts are the same and 80% of those are negative!

Your story creates your state…your feelings and mood.

Imagine yourself walking into a meetup where you don’t know anyone. You are going because you are new in town and want to make some connections. You assume the gathering will be of like minded people but you never know with these things. You feel really uncomfortable and wonder if anyone will talk to you, if you have anything to say, or if you are going to be standing in the corner all alone feeling really awkward and like an outsider. You wonder why you are here in the first place. You hate small talk and things like this always just make you feel worse about yourself. You start feeling a little nauseous, shaky, and like your blood sugar is crashing and you think maybe you should go home. So you leave.

The character in this example wanted to connect with people but they had negative thoughts about themselves and the event resulting in the state, or feeling, of anxiety.

How different would the story and state be if the character was excited (even if they were nervous) to meet new people and connect? Just imagine the thoughts and feelings that person would have.

While it is not as simple as changing your story, it is important to be aware of the story you are telling yourself and the thoughts that dominate your mind most of the time.

Your thoughts and feelings definitely create a feedback loop of a thought creating an emotion and that emotion creating more thoughts and so on.

So the more you THINK something, the more you are going to FEEL something in alignment with that thought.

If 80% are negative thoughts then you are likely to have some pretty hard days and feel like life is a struggle.

Repeatedly telling yourself you are a "loner, loser, and complicated wreck" like Amanda Woods in The Holiday, the more likely you are to feel like a lonely outcast who is a hot mess.

Change your story to change your state.

Intervene at the level of thinking to change your feelings and to ultimately change your life.

Now, I do not buy completely into changing your thoughts as the sole way to change your state because your thoughts are complicated and indicate what is happening in your unconscious mind.

I believe that it is most helpful to do the unconscious work, like Brainspotting, to address whatever experiences drive the unconscious beliefs creating your thoughts in conjunction with paying attention to your story, thoughts, and how they make you feel.

Doing the unconscious work helps you to break up with the repetitive negative thoughts by clearing out what is causing them and gives you the space to decide what you do and don’t want to think.

Doing help you to feel more of what you want to feel.

Namaste!

Nichole

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