How healing a virus helped me make money

How in the world can healing a virus and making money be connected??

Well, my loves, let me tell you my theory.

I have Epstein-Barr Virus—good old mono.

Once you have mono, you always have it. It just hangs out in your system and becomes “reactivated,” usually during times of stress.

I see this in new moms all the time, and I practically beg them to get tested.
Unfortunately, many providers won’t test for EBV, probably because it’s notoriously difficult to treat.

I had a nasty case when I was 14.

Honestly? I don’t think I ever fully recovered. I’ve felt tired for most of my life.

But it came roaring back after I became a mom.

Pregnancy is depleting. Parenting is depleting. Being constantly hypervigilant is VERY depleting.

And stressing about money? Also deeply depleting.

My vitality—or ojas, as we say in Ayurveda—was at an all-time low.

When your ojas is low, you lack immunity, energy, libido, zest for life…the juiciness your body needs to function well. You end up walking around like a zombie: exhausted but unable to sleep, grumpy, anxious, and barely surviving.

It’s a hard way to live.

Ayurveda teaches that disease begins in the mind. This doesn’t mean if you think, “Oh no, I hope I don’t get cancer,” you’ll get cancer.

It means how you live, the choices you make, and the thoughts you think can create physical challenges over time.

Your lifestyle matters.

Your stress response matters.

Your history, culture, genetics, and environment shape all of this.

Louise Hay talks about the emotional and energetic root of disease.

She says mono corresponds with “anger at not receiving love and appreciation, and no longer caring for the self.”

She links EBV to “pushing beyond one’s limits, fear of not being good enough, draining your inner reserves…stress.”

Another book I love—Feelings Buried Alive Never Die—says mono is about feeling unloved, unworthy, and unappreciated.

EBV is essentially a virus of feeling unseen and unworthy.

And what do we do when we feel unseen?

We push, push, push to prove our worth…until we’re depleted.

So for me, EBV has been an invitation to love myself.

To listen to my body.

To stop pushing beyond my limits.

To believe I am lovable even if my caregivers couldn’t show me.

Here’s the interesting part:

My EBV healing began at the exact same time I started healing my money story.

Not on purpose. I didn’t even know the two were connected.

My money story was also rooted in not feeling worthy of what I wanted.

I pushed myself to my limits to make money.

I let my worried thoughts about money drain my nervous system.

I made my bank account the measure of my worth.

If I make enough, they’ll see me. I’ll be lovable. I’ll be worthy.

I thought that would give me peace.

But it didn’t. Not even close.

It was the opposite.

As I’ve healed the physical piece of EBV with herbs and bodywork…
as I’ve done the inner work to feel worthy…
as I’ve practiced seeing myself as valuable…
as I’ve softened around my bank account…
as I’ve trusted the Divine to care for me…

My financial life has improved.

I’ve stopped pushing beyond my limits.

I’ve stopped hating myself for my imperfections.

I’m learning to show up as my authentic self (this one is HARD).

I’ve forgiven the people I once held responsible for my pain (also hard).

And yes, EBV will always be with me. I’ll have occasional flares—like the one I had this weekend, which inspired this post.

I used to fear EBV because it’s associated with so many scary physical conditions.

But now, I see each flare as a call to love myself more.
To slow down.
To quit trying to control everything—especially in my business and financial life.
To lean even more deeply into the Divine as my source.

It’s an invitation to return to these two lines from Tosha Silver’s abundance prayer:

May I know my own value, beauty, and worthiness without question.
and
Change me into one who can fully love, forgive, and accept myself.

Because when it comes to money, it is NEVER really about the money.

Your physical health and emotional health are not separate.

They are one story, told through different languages.

Heal one, and you heal the other.

Learn more about my money work here: www.awakened-wealth.com.