Dreading holiday family time??
Ram Dass, spiritual leader and teacher, said, ”If you think you are enlightened go spend a week with your family.”
We have officially entered into that magical time of the year, a time of expected bliss, connection, and joy with all of the ribbons, the wrappings, the tags, and the tinsel.
The message is that all of your woes will be forgotten…until January 2nd hits along with the fatigue, returns, credit card bills, and the declaration that “Next year Christmas will be in Mexico!” (AKA “I am NOT doing THAT again).
I don’t want to be a Grinch, but holidays bring up so much old stuff (which is why your “enlightenment” is challenged) and can make you feel like you are physically wrecked.
Time spent with your family (there is a reason but I won’t go into that right now) sends you right back to acting and feeling like you are 12 or even 2: you find yourself picking on that same sibling you always have, pleasing one of your parents, avoiding saying something to the other, perfectionism, comparing yourself to your doctor cousins (“God, why can’t I get myself together, I’ll never be as successful”) and pretending you have your shit together (like everyone else who is there).
The family drama (and trauma), the travel, the busy-ness, and partying can add to an already imbalanced vata…or initiate it.
As you might know from my prior posts, a vata imbalance can show up as feeling wired and tired, worried and anxious, stressed, irritable, overwhelmed, and even depressed. And likely constipated, especially if you are traveling from place to place.
In general, Vata is ungroundedness caused by all of the above. So, during the holidays doing your best to stay grounded will help you be with your family and feel more at ease in your mind and body.
I will start with the least fun one of all, watch your alcohol consumption. Alcohol adds heat to the body (hello anger!), hinders digestion, and obviously can create chaos. So drink slowly and be sure to drink water.
Try to keep your elimination moving. Drink water. Try to some Calm Magnesium before bed. My favorite herbal blend for constipation is LifeSpa’s Elim 1. You can also sip on warming teas like ginger or chai.
Say no. Don’t feel like you have to say yes to every invitation. Discern what and who you really want to say yes too.
Try to favor cooked foods. If you are surrounded by crackers and snacky foods, look for the moist stuff like hummus or guac to add to the crackers.
Keep your blood sugar up. You will be surrounded by sugary treats so be sure you actually eat meals that include protein. Low blood sugar can make you feel anxious and panicky…and definitely ungrounded.
Set boundaries and lose expectations around family members. Don’t expect people to be different, don’t expect them to be the same either. Just take them as they. BUT, also create boundaries for yourself: walk away from conversations that you know are triggering or aren’t going to go well, set a time to go home, or prepare what you are going to say if you expect a demeaning a comment.
When you find yourself in the heat of the moment and feeling incredibly triggered by someone, feel your feet on the floor. Notice your feet in your shoes, the ground beneath you, and even perhaps the feelings in the soles of your feet. You can take this a step further by breathing deep into your belly and imaging the breath leaving through the soles of your feet.
Take breaks to take care of yourself: Go for a walk. Rest. Take time to breathe.
Sending you love, health, and lots of groundedness during this very Merry (and hard) season.
