The Case for Accepting Anxiety
You might be thinking, “Nichole, are you off your rocker?? Why would I EVER want to accept the anxiety that I feel???”
Most of my clients come to me to get rid of anxiety. Because, quite frankly, anxiety SUCKS.
You feel worried, on edge, irritable, your mind spins and your body feels tense, shaky, and even a little sick when anxiety hits.
So, OF COURSE you want to get rid of it!!
But, you can’t ever get rid of it 100%.
You need anxiety in your life.
You need to be aware of potential dangers in your environment and be ready to move or freeze if necessary.
Anxiety can increase motivation (due to the associated dopamine release). So, if you are worried about your job, your health, an upcoming interview or presentation, or even a relationship…anxiety gives you the boost to figure it out!
Anxiety also is a signal to pay attention to your life and your lifestyle. As I have written about before, living out of alignment with your authentic self creates anxiety. This means staying in relationships that are toxic, staying in jobs you hate, and failing to have the boundaries you need to feel safe and at ease in your life.
As far as lifestyle: overworking, lack of sleep and exercise, too much screen time, and an improper diet all contribute to anxiety. So, anxiety is a clue that something might not be quite right in your life or your body.
Anxiety and fear are a part of your biology, for a good reason. Sometimes you need to be hypervigilant, aware of your surroundings, and have the wisdom to know when to change course.
Both of these emotions have helped us to evolve as a species. If not for our ability to remember and recognize predators we might have ended up as a tasty snack or we would have never learned to avoid the poisonous berries.
That can translate today to being aware of your surroundings when you are walking to your car at night, avoiding smoking, or putting your baby in a car seat.
So life without some anxiety is not possible or even a good idea.
But it makes sense you would want to escape it. Anxiety is a signal that sometimes might not be right so when you feel it your brain tells you to do whatever it takes to get rid of it. Once you don’t feel anxiety, your nervous system assumes you are safe. Which…well…we are never 100% SAFE. We live in an uncertain world where anything can happen at any time (I know this statement can really push some buttons!).
Because anxiety is a part of who you are, the more you cut it off, try to ignore it, and get rid of it, the worse it becomes. Anytime you attempt to disown a part of yourself you create chronic anxiety, your spirit wants to be seen wholly and completely without judgment.
Turning toward (by noticing, giving yourself permission, and feeling the sensation of it in your body) and accepting anxiety as a normal and healthy part of who you are actually helps it to quiet down. Aside from the self-acceptance component, it can slow down the freight train of scary thoughts that make you feel even more anxious!
Acceptance invites calmness, nervous system regulation, and resiliency (I can handle this anxiety, it won’t kill me, and it will pass).
So even if you have an “anxiety disorder,” which is chronic anxiety beyond what is normal and healthy, you can begin by giving yourself permission to feel anxiety and it’s corresponding sensations in your body. From there, you can begin the process of discerning what anxiety is trying to tell you about your life and your body.
Start befriending the anxiety you experience, and really any emotion, and you will find out that you are going to be ok…no matter what.
Namaste!
Nichole
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